"Forced" to Watch Football
Received a notice from above: during the World Cup, the school has arranged a duty schedule. Teachers on duty must arrive at the broadcast venue 20 minutes before the match starts. Keep communication open during duty. Report any emergencies to the on-site security and student affairs office. If there are schedule conflicts, communicate with XXX in a timely manner!
I am ordered to supervise the following two matches:
June 18
19:30
Germany VS Serbia
22:00
Slovenia VS USA
June 22
22:00
Mexico VS Uruguay
France VS South Africa
Oh heavens! Is the school really this ridiculous? An upright man does things openly. If they want students to watch, let them watch. If not, just say so. Why let them watch but plant spies among them? And if you’re planting spies, at least pick someone who knows something about the enemy and can blend in by wearing enemy uniforms. Poor me — since birth, I’ve never been interested in football. I change the channel when football appears on TV, skip football articles in newspapers. My football knowledge is essentially zero. I still can’t tell the difference between Zheng Zhi and Zheng Zhihua. When someone told me Beckham and his wife did something, I asked: “Didn’t Beckham break up with Hai Zao when Secretary Song interfered?” In college, someone dragged me to watch a football match. I watched the Chinese national team blasting high balls all game, and I believed the whole time that football was about who could kick the ball higher. You want me, of all people, to mingle among football fans as a spy? I’d be spotted in a heartbeat. Good thing we live in a harmonious society; discovery wouldn’t be too dangerous.
Fine, a spy I am. But for a non-professional like me, shouldn’t there be some training? For instance, for the Slovenia vs USA match, should we cheer for the USA or Slovenia? If I pick the wrong side, become “a member of the public who doesn’t know the truth,” get swayed by a small minority, and applaud the imperialist Americans instead of our former socialist brother, wouldn’t that be a political mistake?
If you’re watching the game and notice someone next to you shouting at the wrong times, staying quiet when everyone else yells, wearing an NBA jersey, waving glow sticks, and with “I love Jacky Cheung” written on their face — don’t be surprised. That person is just working overtime.
If you see me on the podium with bloodshot eyes those days, don’t blame me. I was up all night being “forced” to watch football.